A letter to the kids in my condo complex

Dear Kids,
What's up with all the screaming? I know that a few shrieks are natural during play, but you guys are screaming all the time. You're not babies or toddlers, so you're totally old enough to be using your words. Plus, this morning you guys started before 7 am. Wtf? Do your parents kick you out of the house at 6:30? Isn't this a school day? Please, some of us aren't into shrieking, so try to tone it the fuck down.

Sincerely,
A

P.S. To the blonde kid whose condo faces my bedroom window: Are you autistic? I kind of got the suspicion you were when I saw you carrying a toilet bowl around while following your mother, all the while letting out the blood-curdling screams. If you are, then you're totally excused from this mess. If you've not, though, you need to get some serious help. You're definitely the worst of the lot.