Tuesday, August 21, 2007

You know you're having a rough day...

When your primary goal is not to cry in front of the students.

Well, I didn't actually cry today, but it was close. I've still got little red crescents in my forearms from using my nails to keep myself from crying in the copy room. What set the whole thing off was coming in to see that my teaching area for the next class had been reserved, messing up my whole lesson plan. I don't actually have a classroom for my psych class, you see, but instead the students and I meet in a large open area that is filled with computers. The teachers in the surrounding rooms can reserve the area so that their class can use the computers, but we're still getting the kinks in the reservation system worked out (namely, notifying me). I had to quickly figure out an alternate assignment (not quite so easy when the kids don't have textbooks), only to wind up having class in the computer area after all. Gah! Apparently I'm fragile enough that this sort of event will send me into another spell of "Why the hell am I even doing this when I don't even think I'll wind up teaching at the secondary level as a career?" misery.

When my step-brother was going off to join the army, my dad shared with us that the purpose of boot camp was to break you down and mold a new person from the rubble. I suppose that is the point where I am right now--broken. This is my teacher boot camp. Hopefully soon I'll be getting a bit of that new, freshly molded, stronger person. I could really use it about now.

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