Wednesday, September 13, 2006
A morning freak out
So, I'm quite glad that I didn't post anything this morning, as I was totally freaking out. I don't know about you guys, but every once in a while, all of a sudden all the little problems, worries, and stresses become BIG problems, worries, and stresses. The world is not right, life is horrible, and goddamn if I don't just want to change it all right that instant. I feel the strong urge to break things or cry or yell at people, possibly all at the same time. Career changes and moving out of the country start looking pretty good. By the time I calmed down I found myself on the Peace Corps website, looking at student loan deferment. My mom has, on several occasions, said that I just run away from my problems, but I think her view is just an indication of a radically different strategy for dealing with issues. She's still quite bitter about getting divorced ("I said 'till death do us part and I meant it!"), even though her marriage had dissolved long ago and had been a sham for years. Me, if it can't be fixed (and many things can't), why stay and fight with it? Leave, start something new! Life can be better elsewhere, so why stay miserable?