I take their stuff

The secretary at the front desk of my school has decided that I win the award for Most Interesting Items Confiscated (she knows, as I give them to her for the students' parents to recover). In addition to the more normal items--cell phones, hats, toys--I have recently confiscated a spoon, a tiny Rubik's Cube, and, the coup de grâce, a fart machine. A remote controlled fart machine at that. As I was taking the offending item to the front desk, it started to make noises of its own accord. Realising what was happening, I silently walked up behind the student I had seized the item from and demanded the remote.